she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
