I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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