if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
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