Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
