She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
