just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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