I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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