mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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