i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Alive.
So much puke
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Randomize
