it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Randomize
