Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize