If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
She even gives head with a lisp.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
