Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
