they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
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