I'd wear matching sweaters with you
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
