He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
