Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
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