You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Help me help you realize you are a moron
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
