Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
