We should be called the Road Head Warriors
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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