Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Randomize
