forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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