My first STD was from a foam party
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
