I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
