Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Randomize
