Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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