Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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