I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
