roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
