ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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