Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
he's gonorrhea incarnate
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
