I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
