can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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