Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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