Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
