Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
PANTIES FOUND
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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