We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
