Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize