whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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