her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
that is very illegal...i love you.
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