I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I cockslap morals
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
