yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
