please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
The uberlube is also flammable
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
