remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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