Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
