So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
