physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
