you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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