He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Im just a social blackout drinker.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
