all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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