Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
