well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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