I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
