Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
