i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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