when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
