i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
