just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize
