does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
