Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
