so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
