ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize