oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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